I've been in my head a lot lately...
)Please know that I am rambling here, un-editing...just as I write so...)
You know that vast space in the universe...
Full of so many possibilities and I have really been lingering on
why...why there is so much freaking pain in the world..
This beautiful world, which is full of so many beautiful, loving potentials.
I guess, so many lessons to be learned but instead of lessons being so full of achey mush, why not be lessons from the heart instead of lessons from fear.
I'm gonna babble so randomly here so buckle up..
that is, if you want to ride with me..
I want to focus on the positive so hopefully with each subject my ramblings will lead to the sunshine, it will..
I have been questioning myself a lot lately..
I have this deep desire to get my art out into the world,
but at what price?
Here I am selling myself..trying to go from one media (technology and store) to the next to get my stuff out there.
It's a lot of work and frankly it's taking away the joy because it's seemingly taking all my time.
And I want to find joy in it all but...I have this whisper in the back of my mind that keeps at me...
children, children, children..
Now I know I am a good mom, and I do my best but this line of work is consuming and sometimes, even when I am "here" with the kids, my mind may be somewhere else like:
gotta get that order shipped out, I gotta make a tweet schedule to draw traffic to my store, gotta call so and so back, what am I going to wear to this meeting, deadlines, supplies to order, house to
maintain, bills to pay,collection to get out to art rep, homework to keep on top of, dinner to make, shower to take, garden to dream about, sleep, lover to share time with, taxi, feed the animals, grocery shop...etc...and the list goes on, believe me it does..
And there are MANY of you out there that do all these things and much more just to survive.
And then something inside says...these are just things...things
It makes me sad...this "too busi-ness" that we are creating to survive, to get a head or to plan for our futures life savings, because lets face it some day we may just want to sit and BE...
But why not now? why can't we just sit and be?
Just be moms, and have that be a wonderful and FULLY appreciated position in the "company" called family.
I had this conversation with my friend Julie recently about women and how we have kind of turned the tables against ourselves in the whole "women" movement thing.
We have somewhat masculated ourselves..
Transformed some of our beautiful feminine qualities and replaced it with the power hungry, achieve all, I'll show them energy. (Not saying I am like this but achieving is a driving force)
I think its beautiful that women are going for their dreams and I encourage it but when it comes time to have children it makes me somewhat sad that in this society many of us (who are relying on the womens income too) have to send their children to daycare at very
young ages..When I truly believe that being a mom is a very important role/job in a family, being able to nurture their children is good not only for the child but also for the mother..and family as a whole. I think
its wonderful when I see families coming together and grandparents are helping with daycare while moms go to work..To me that seems better than just sticking a baby in a daycare facility because there is no other option to survive..
bills have to be paid... but anyway back the masculated thing.
Instead of showing that we can do anything you can, to the men...why were we not able to show men that we are queens and that they are kings and we should treat each other as so.
Not, women waiting on men hand and foot while man sits back and does nothing. Because unfortunately, some men are still that way.. and unfortunately some women are still really pissed about this inequality and instead of creating a loving balance it becomes competition and when it comes down to it, it ends up being not so good for our children.
It's all about energy... I hope I am explaining this at least a little bit understandably.
We are all like squirrels scrambling to save save save for our future..
save for retirement, worrying about not having enough when we retire, worrying about affording college for our children, being able to afford healthcare, freaking blah...
Preparedness is great but with so many scrambling just to make ends meet these days it seems as if life is leading to survival of the fittest bank account in old age.
If you don't learn how the dollar works, if you don't have the money to spend on learning how the dollar works, or the time to teach yourself how the dollar can work for you then...
you are screwed.
There is enough $ in this world to go around and all this greed is sad...And all the anger toward the greedy people of the world is not making anything better.
Some people can work and work and work and are like a hamster in a wheel getting nowhere.
Arguments can be made, well that hamster must be stupid then...no, just running to keep up, so many are running just to keep up, only to be able to afford shitty healthcare with not much say in what they think is best for them, unhealthy foods because its the cheapest...etc..
So I gotta focus on love, focus on what I want...
What do I want?
I want people to follow their hearts..and know that they can and have that choice...
and in following their hearts comes growth and changes in directions..
I am an artist, I LOVE to create, but I also love my children and if I have a calling to put aside my lofty ambitions for some time to nurture my children, then so be it.
It's all part of the process, and I am all about
"Trust the Process"
I have to help to teach them to be creators, lovers, dreamers, shoe tiers :)
This doesn't mean I am dropping my crayons right here, right now... I am expressing my thoughts..
So again, I want people to follow their hearts..
I want good healthcare available to all, this includes:
Insurance that covers any type of healthcare that a person deems healthy, well care to them..
Chiropractor, essential oils or natural herbs if pharmaceuticals are not desired, acupuncture, tai chi, allopathic care, whole food
vitamins, nutritious food, counseling, energy work etc..
What does your heart say?
What does health look like to you?
Are you healthy? If not why?
What is it about your life that is preventing your health from being pristine?
what would bring more joy into your life?
And when it all comes down to it..
Are you following your heart?
Following your heart opens one up to infinite energy and well being..
But so many are afraid to, afraid because of all the illusions around us...
The what if's...
Well...What if the "what if's were..
What if I were happy
what if I were abundant
We all are these things...we just have to believe it..
We just have to follow our hearts...
Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to do..
The more we each, EACH change our energy we will begin to create a shift in the whole.
We can each make a difference in the world for the good and that is through ourselves..
through our joy we spread joy..
Its contagious, far more contagious than any virus...
So again, through my art I spread my love, encouragement of following the heart, and by just following my heart I send infinite love, joy and positivity into the world...
Faith...Plant your seed...Love..it comes from the heart..
What does your heart say?
your heart is your compass...follow it..
Over and out..
What are you afraid of?
For me what it comes down to is that my heart is saying more and more that its time to be here more now for my children, and THAT is where my energy is needed and where my energy will be replenished...
I am here now, I am grateful,
I am with baby
and the future looks bright but again...I am here now :)