Sunday, December 22, 2013

Turning Point

Although I have made this distinction before never have I seen it so clearly. As I try to stay focused on what I really want as a tornado surrounds me I find myself in this mode of moving energy. Like a contoller maybe, or trying my hardest to create a divine shift in the energy that surrounds me. Or is it a drug? Anyways,  here I am once again with this intense desire to rearrange furniture. It's been like this since I was a kid. It makes me feel better, somehow. Not just when things are shitty or chaotic. I 

passionately enjoy it...but now, it's like this intense desire to feel better and this new layout will be a bandaid until things heal? So I keep rearranging, making it through. I am really grateful for this self taught healing modality/creative gift I have. So while it may have bloomed from a room of loneliness as an only child, it has blossomed into a passionate intense desire for an appealing design aesthetic which I love. 
I love designing space and at the same time it has a healing affect, bonus. The space may be a room, a blank canvas, paper, etc. I guess it's kind of like birth again or something, this newness...anyways...
Can you relate?

I am going through a really tough time in life right now but am focusing the BEST I can on what I want, doing what I love, and letting all of the negativity flow through me, feeling it, processing it's message yet letting it go through me to make room for what I want. I believe that by doing this I am creating a momentum. Like a circle or the recycle triangle with arrows which propells me in the direction I desire. If I allow the negativity inside me stay

 in the cycle without exiting then I'm continually focusing on 
what I don't want. But the key here is believing in myself, having trust in my focusing abilities, having faith that I really have the power to create the reality in which I desire.. That desire is love/flow. And being SO open to recieve the love I desire that it is formless until it's manifestation. Just focusing on how I want to feel and doing what makes me happy, following my passion and loving my family even if it 

means living a family of 6 instead of seven. I have pretty much ALWAYS gotten what I have focused on, be it good or the bad, unfortunately the the later too. 

I have manifested A LOT of amazingly wonderful things in my life when I have focused on what I want. 
I plan to continue that pattern 
So... I am going to have faith in my compass. 
So now...
I let the sadness flow through me, not inside me:) 
And I keep shining my light and spreading the love. 
Peace all.

Monday, November 4, 2013

"Everything you can imagine is real."-Picasso

Ahhh, it feels so good to be here again.

Man, I am trying to type here, while listening to some singing monks, its making me all goofy-ish. giggle

Anyways..I started up morning pages again and gosh, every time I do them I instantly am connected to higher self.

It's a beautiful thing.
When you take time to listen/write it is amazing the wisdom and encouragement that appears. 
I am encroaching upon a magical period in my life. 
Almost done with classes which means...
Time to really settle into the final stages of

"She Spreads Love"
I have wanted to write a Children's book forever now.
Some may ask, why now, why haven't you done it before?
Divine timing...
Some may call it lack of focus or procrastination, I strongly believe that everything has its time and some things need to marinate in life force. I began my desire to write a children's book back in 1993.
Just out of High School. 
I was a dabbler in illustrating here and there, non-sense spiritual sketching, beautiful colors, learning....
I did not go to school for art but I have a strong passion for it.

In 1995 I began sketching some illustrations, inspired by Dr. Seuss's ABC book, and at that time I thought "I could make a pretty cool alphabet book too. Children would love to read my book with their mom and dad."
Although my illustrations were "cute" the inspiration wasn't there.

Time went on and I had this other vision, which I never did because I wasn't the "stand up in front of a crowd and speak" kind of person..but anyways...the idea was along the line of this...
I thought it would be cool for there to be an assembly that would travel from school to school to teach the value of authenticity and help to prevent bullying and peer pressure.

AND strangely it wasn't until this VERY moment that I came up with that way of describing it. 
Oh man I am starting to tear up because this is a beautiful moment to me, how things just fall into place. 

The vision for the assembly generically went along these sort of lines..
I envisioned someone coming out on stage dressed up very "dorkly", fat, acne, unfashionable, in a greater sense unappealing to the eye, but totally believable.
This person would come on stage and start talking about bullying, peer pressure, following your heart, doing what is right, etc..I wanted to see how the audience would react to the knowledge that this unappealing person shared with them. 

Then I wanted to show a video, one of that person, removing their costume and revealing the person on the inside.
I wanted to see how the audience would react now to the information that was shared with them. Then the person would come back out on stage, without the costume and talk with the children about their thoughts and feelings on it all. 

The whole purpose of the assembly being, that everyone is beautiful on the inside and that making fun of people for how they look, what they love to do, putting people down for
 being themselves is breaking us apart.
Each one of us is a miracle, and each one of us should be able to shine how we want to, and when we do, we light up the world. 

When we are our true authentic selves, I believe we are the change we want to see in the world. We are all pieces of the puzzle of life. 
Because I believe that within, all we want is love, peace and joy.
And by being ourselves, we encourage others to be themselves.
Doing what we feel within our hearts, doing what feels good, I believe is being in alignment with the whole.

I am not being naive here, I know there are sick people in this world, mean people, but if I can make a difference even if in a little way, then I am following my heart and doing so, because 
it is what I believe to be true.

And that is me being authentic. 
Open to being vulnerable by speaking of what I believe in, 
Because I believe this to be true.  
And in no way can my truth hurt anyone because all that 

I desire to see is good :)
And I want to set this positive example for our children.
I had children, married for 12 years, started a business, did art shows, tried to make ends meet and get ahead of the game.
Got divorced, giggle, married again...

Had two more children, crazy me, giggle,  
and now I know what I need to do. I have gathered information, learned a lot! "It's not easy being cheesy" but I'm gonna be do it.."I am what I am" and I am love :)

I have this tingling desire within me that I am here to make a difference. I am here to use my gifts, as simplistic and "dreamy" as they may be, to spread peace, love, encouragement, joy and the value of authenticity in this world.
And I am. Now realizing that my desire to make a children's book isn't about teaching the ABC's, there are plenty of those. 

It's about teaching love, its about (and please, I am NOT a preacher or promoting any sort of religion here) bringing a sense of spirituality

back into this fast paced world. Teaching love, kindness, the value of authenticity, encouragement, community, joy, through simple phrases of positivity and artwork that makes you smile and feel good :)
I can't wait to share my book with you and the world!

 Peace and love
Natalie Kelsey-Pixy Pocahontis

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Whats going on :)

Hello all!
I know its been a while since my last babble..
I hope you are all doing fantastic!
I know, I know, we are all on a roller coaster..
I'm on a good ride.
I have decided to put the boys in daycare, go back 
to school, and do what I love.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, but MAN I was getting restless..
Passion is something I just can't do without.
So.. I have found a lovely balance.
(still working out little twerks)
  I'm learning some new things to propel me 
to where I want to be through school.
Not that I am not grateful for the here and now, 
but I keep seeming to get myself
stuck in little areas and I wasn't growing how I wanted.
And school was the solution. 

I just had to bite the bullet and put the boys in daycare.
It was a hard decision because I 
really felt guilty doing it at first..
Then I was like...shit why I didn't I do this earlier? 
I love our boys, but again I had to love myself too.
They are happy, enjoying playing with others, and are very happy to see me or daddy at the end of the day.
 I really feel like our quality time together is greater now
WE are currently in the middle of an exterior remodel that began in June...this is where we are now...

I have high hope that the siding crew is REALLY going to finish this time. (many complications)
But its going to look awesome after its all finished, especially when we get all the trim and brick painted! 

I also painted our fireplace, it was burgundy paint from the previous owners..The living room is still in a process as well but baby steps...
What classes am I taking?
Illustrator, HTML5 and Office.
All VERY helpful!
After the completion of these classes in December,
 I begin my journey on the completion of my book with goal of it being on its publishing adventure in July!
Next year I start a massage program.
So exciting!
Life is excellent and I couldn't be more grateful
There is more to this picture...

Oh and here is a glimpse of my class final project for HTML5.
It's the home page for my website

Currently I'm helping a friend launch her fantastical

take a peek at it here..
Gotta run, boys are up from a nap!
Much LOVE to you all


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Backpack on, Candle lit, Traveling within..Trust the Process

I know that many of you may see me as the Positive, bubbly type, encourager of the heart, spreading wellness, artist girl and

 I am, 

the deepest most purpose part of who I am, is that.

and I am trying with all my heart,

to swim in that love...

to spread that love...

but man,
 somethings in the air,

Art journaling inside a Kelly Rae Robert Journal
 and the wind, she is not consistent..

Has anyone else felt it ?

 Strong blows rattle heart...

and lofts one off to dark places...

Places ye pray not to be.
the wind is cold,

Deep breaths to find center...

A Excerpt from A Return to Love
focuses on its light,

to warm back the heart...

and dance,

in knowing.. 

that love is the key

that opens the door


 to brighter places.

Focus on What you want

Peace,  joy and much love.