Sunday, December 22, 2013

Turning Point

Although I have made this distinction before never have I seen it so clearly. As I try to stay focused on what I really want as a tornado surrounds me I find myself in this mode of moving energy. Like a contoller maybe, or trying my hardest to create a divine shift in the energy that surrounds me. Or is it a drug? Anyways,  here I am once again with this intense desire to rearrange furniture. It's been like this since I was a kid. It makes me feel better, somehow. Not just when things are shitty or chaotic. I 

passionately enjoy it...but now, it's like this intense desire to feel better and this new layout will be a bandaid until things heal? So I keep rearranging, making it through. I am really grateful for this self taught healing modality/creative gift I have. So while it may have bloomed from a room of loneliness as an only child, it has blossomed into a passionate intense desire for an appealing design aesthetic which I love. 
I love designing space and at the same time it has a healing affect, bonus. The space may be a room, a blank canvas, paper, etc. I guess it's kind of like birth again or something, this newness...anyways...
Can you relate?

I am going through a really tough time in life right now but am focusing the BEST I can on what I want, doing what I love, and letting all of the negativity flow through me, feeling it, processing it's message yet letting it go through me to make room for what I want. I believe that by doing this I am creating a momentum. Like a circle or the recycle triangle with arrows which propells me in the direction I desire. If I allow the negativity inside me stay

 in the cycle without exiting then I'm continually focusing on 
what I don't want. But the key here is believing in myself, having trust in my focusing abilities, having faith that I really have the power to create the reality in which I desire.. That desire is love/flow. And being SO open to recieve the love I desire that it is formless until it's manifestation. Just focusing on how I want to feel and doing what makes me happy, following my passion and loving my family even if it 

means living a family of 6 instead of seven. I have pretty much ALWAYS gotten what I have focused on, be it good or the bad, unfortunately the the later too. 

I have manifested A LOT of amazingly wonderful things in my life when I have focused on what I want. 
I plan to continue that pattern 
So... I am going to have faith in my compass. 
So now...
I let the sadness flow through me, not inside me:) 
And I keep shining my light and spreading the love. 
Peace all.